Last week was a tough one for me. I worked longer hours, received yet more job rejections and felt more anxious than I have in a while. I struggled with choosing to spend my time intentionally, instead I found myself reaching for my phone every two seconds and racking up an embarrassing number of screen time hours. I avoided doing the things I knew would make me feel better, abandoning my practices of yoga, journalling and meditation in favour of all things distraction. I could have chosen to berate myself intensely for losing sight of myself for a second but i’m slowly learning that this behaviour helps no one. At times like these I find my mind spiralling, asking myself questions I don’t truly mean and desperately trying to understand what the point of it all is. Last week I found myself asking if there was more. Asking if I will ever have more than what I have right now. It’s in low moments when thoughts like this rear their heads, moments where the shoulds are shouting louder than the wants and I get confused between the two. We live in a world that favours having more, being more, doing more over a life of simplicity. To be content with a simple life is an act of rebellion.

My wants in this life are pretty simple. In those moments where I can’t help but look at my dreams through the filter of what life ‘should’ be, I wonder if it is possible to be happy with so little noise. Then I shake myself out of it, re-centre myself, refocus and remind myself of the peace that washes over me in the simplest of moments. How fulfilled I am when I am truly aligned with this vision I have of the way I want my life to look. How much more connected I am to myself when I am intentional with how I spend my time. How much more peace I find when I seek balance.

It can be exhausting to constantly remind yourself that it is ok to not want a life of hustle and busy-ness. That it is ok to chase peace instead. That it is ok to want to live an honest, simple life of intention and connection with yourself and the world around you. That it is ok to want to move slowly in a world that feels like it’s racing. A world that favours speed and noise over intention and peace. I think one of the most important things we can ever do for ourselves is to determine what we wish to seek from our time on this earth. To turn inwards and understand what true fulfilment looks like to you as an individual and to chase that in everything that you do. Even if that idea of fulfilment looks different to everyone else’s. Even if you have to remind yourself every day that it is valid and worthy. To live life on your own terms, in the way that most fulfils you is to live well.

I intend to live my life as fully as I can in my own way, even if that means having to re-centre myself every day. It is worth the effort, it is work that must be done.

if you want to hear more about my journey towards a more authentic existence, follow me on instagram @the.authenticity.project and on medium . see my photography work on instagram @s.ophiea.lice and connect with me on linkedin.

big love to you all x