yesterday was a beautiful day. I awoke as the sun peeked above the horizon, painting the sky a hazy canvas of pinks and purples. now that the days are getting longer, my body clock has naturally decided to grace me with the struggle of getting less sleep. waking up earlier, however, doesn’t bother me. I’ve always been a morning person and waking up as the day is stretching into itself, bursting with light and promise for the hours ahead brings me a sense of peace little else will. it allows me to begin my day in quiet solitude, to journal and meditate before the stresses of my responsibilities permeate my thoughts. most of these blog posts are the product of those early hours of the morning, reflections on the day before and my hopes for the day ahead.

and so we find ourselves at a natural moment to introduce this week’s topic. I had a lot of quiet revelations swirling around my mind this week. following a weeks holiday from work I was dreading going back to being in the company of a boisterous 3 year old on the regular, mainly influenced by my apparent inability to sleep at the beginning of the week. i’ve spent a lot of time working with young children over this past year, it’s been my only source of income since graduating and while it’s not exactly the profession I expected to find myself in, I truly love it. I love spending time with these little humans that haven’t yet learnt how difficult it can be to exist in this world. when we’re young we have the unknowing privilege of not yet having learnt all the many ways in which we will come to apologise for who we are. as kids we didn’t dull ourselves down for anyone or show up as anything other than our true, authentic self. we didn’t hesitate to ask for what we want or need at any given moment, loudly and persistently. we followed what felt good and profusely refused to do what did not. kids act based on feeling, moment to moment. they are not ruled by should’s, by schedules or by societal expectations. they embody all that it means to be present in each moment, to remove all the masks and filters and ways in which the world has twisted us out of shape over time. they allow themselves to just be in a way that is slowly forgotten with each year they gain.

spending time in the company of people who exist so in alignment with the present is liberating. it reminds me how trivial so much of life becomes as we grow older. those hours I am at work are hours that I get to be a kid again, I can put my adult responsibilities to the side for a minute and it’s doing wonders for my soul. some days are harder than others, of course, the need to remain in what is known and expected can be strong. some days I show up with resistance, resistance to putting down those responsibilities, resistance to surrendering into the present moment and following the flow of these young souls. on those days I find myself clock-watching, moody and frustrated by the lazy ticking by of each second. I struggle to focus on the little kid sat in front of me, asking me to let it all go and just play with them. I don’t enjoy going to work on those days and it’s all my own fault, caused by me getting in my own way. because on the days that I fully embrace the presence, I have so. much. fun. I can laugh and play and the minutes fly by. I feel a lightness and a freedom in my being that seeps into the cracks and wounds within me that have begun caving under the pressure of ‘being an adult.’ this work shifts my perspective, it’s teaching me how much of my stress and worry is in my head and in surrendering to this presence I’m learning how to let go. how to let go of the should’s, the schedules and the societal expectations. i’m discovering how much better life feels when you begin acting in alignment with what feels good instead of what you think should feel good. i’m learning to find joy and laughter in the most random of moments, how to let go of my fears of stepping outside of this box i’ve built for myself, how to colour outside of the lines without spiralling into panic over having made a mess of it all.

it is said that to follow a spiritual path is to shed all the layers under which you hide your true, authentic self, your soul, your being. it is a path of unlearning and shifting of the narratives that create those layers, of finding your truth and acting in alignment with it in everything you do. and so I have come to understand that to truly come back home to ourselves is to embody who we were as kids, before we learnt to hide and reshape ourselves just to fit in. to trace our steps back to the purest representation of ourselves, tuning into presence and intuition to find true alignment in as many moments as we can. to remember what it means to live our damn lives without worrying about anything other than whether it makes us feel happy and fulfilled and bring us a sense of purpose. to remember what it feels like to just be. be ourselves. be present. be free.

if you want to hear more about my journey towards a more authentic existence, follow me on instagram @the.authenticity.project and on medium . see my photography work on instagram @s.ophiea.lice and connect with me on linkedin.

big love to you all x