I realised I’ve been hiding. Not just from the world but from myself as well. Somewhere along the way I got caught up in all the things I don’t have, or wish were different, and instead of having curiosity about what changes I could make, I dug the hole deeper and deeper until I could no longer see the light. It happens so easily, one day you are just acknowledging a frustration, the next you are embodying it. I allowed it to bury me because I forgot that I have a choice.

It’s not my fault, not fully. Everything about the world we live in encourages us to be realistic, to make us feel stuck and trapped and as though we have no power to enact change. When you are surrounded by others who feel just as trapped as you do, it is so easy to fall into these patterns and stay exactly where you are. But I realised recently that it only takes one of you raising your hand and being brave enough to ask, “but what are we going to do about it then?” for the energy to shift. It only takes one of you reaching out their hand and opening their hearts and saying “I see you. You’re not alone. We can figure this out together.”

The power in that choice to ask the question, to change the perspective and to remind us all that we are not alone is endless. These past few weeks have been a huge shift for me in realising that I do not have to find all the answers by myself and realising that I do not even need to figure out which questions to ask alone. We can choose to open up to the people around us and ask for support, ask for help. We can choose to say “I don’t know what to do next, would you stand by my side and help me figure it out?” Until now, I viewed dreaming of the kind of life I wish to live as a very internal thing. And as I felt so stuck, I did not see the point in daydreaming about it at all. I felt so scared to let myself dream, because it just felt like things suck and they will always suck and I didn’t have the energy to do something about it. Dreaming felt like a frivolous expenditure of my energy.

Except it is the complete and absolute opposite. In choosing to raise my hand among dear friends and being brave enough to ask them to join me on a journey to figuring out how to get ourselves out of this darkness, I rediscovered how dreaming can actually create energy . In pivoting from staring into the darkness, towards lifting my heart towards hope, I’ve gained this sort of restless energy that calls to be used. I am by no means rejuvenated, miraculously, but there is this anxious energy that is simmering beneath the surface calling for me to do something, anything to begin.

I want to begin taking steps towards the kind of life I dream of. I want to slowly climb out of the darkness and choose to believe that I can have all that I dream of. So I started talking about it. I realise that these dreams will forever stay dreams if I trapped them within the confines of my own mind. To birth them, the first step is to say them out loud. Not just to yourself but to the people around you. Speaking about your dreams, allowing the notion of them to exist in the world will help you to believe their potential to become reality. I think we all deserve to see our dreams played out, to live them. What else is this life truly for?

if you want to hear more about my journey towards a more authentic existence, follow me on instagram @the.authenticity.project and on medium . see my photography work on instagram @s.ophiea.lice and connect with me on linkedin.

big love to you all x