have not logged onto this site in a scary amount of time, have not felt able to for so many reasons. I didn’t really know if I had anything to say. I had been so proud of myself for the way I had been showing up here, as often as I did and for how long I kept it up for. But that pride has also kept me away for a long time too. I have been scared that if I did try to come here again and see if I had something I might want to share with you, that it might be short lived. That maybe I would not make it back here for a long time again.